"Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally."
-Matthew 28:16-17
To get an idea where this is, this is at the end of the book of Matthew, right after Jesus rose from the dead. These are the eleven disciples, that were with Jesus during the gospel, his ministry, these are the guys who saw all his miracles. They heard all his teaching breathed the same air, walked in his footprints. If anyone should have known he was God in flesh it was them.
Just to clarify Jesus did just rise from the dead, a culminating victory. I would expect that any lingering doubts would be dissipated at this point. So we are left with eleven guys who know Jesus is God. What do they do when they see him for the first time since the cross? Worship him, well most of them do. The bible says some "held back." Remember who these guys are, what they have seen, what they know. Yet some held back from worshiping him, Jesus. Afraid to risk themselves totally.
What does this mean for our worship?
We have all heard people say "If only, i could see him, touch him, experience a miracle, hear his voice, then i would know he is real, and i could worship him, Jesus, God. This is an excuse we use to distance our selves from God. The disciples for crying out loud "held back," and the bible tells us their motivation, their risk.
They knew it was all or nothing, either worship Jesus who they know is God and give your entire life to him. Or they could hold back, restrain themselves, keep it repressed in their hearts. The risk is too big, in this sacred moment they clung to themselves instead of the cross.
How much do we hold back? What is it we keep from God, that keeps us from fully worshiping him. Excuses aren't important, repentance is, cleansing and healing, selflessness.
Worship is not always easy, because the risk is so big, the obstacle, the divide. But the reward is life, Jesus, the truth, and victory. In our surrender, sacrifice of our selfishness, is victory in our hearts. We tend to think of surrender as loss, failure, in this case it is Victory.
